Cheating on the Exam


Exam on field. Caveman walked barefoot into the mud, saying the thunder was a sign of the apocalypse which would destroy the exam teachers. Crowd cheered him on. I become the caveman. I think I only believe in yin and yang. Had to shave for the exams in tiny bathroom, I'd left a little bit on the front side. I'd forgotten to study. Fan was trying to take a friend of a mathematician hostage to make the mathematician come to the station. He told the ticket seller to keep an eye on him while he went away. She called the police when the hostage sneaked away, thinking from his manners he's a thief.


"The front" of the train in Snowpiercer is compared to the head of a body, a fascist metaphor. "Trim around the superego" is a line from Flowers for Algernon I recalled yesterday, in which a psychotherapist was compared to a hairdresser for being impersonal, much like X when trying to put a diagnosis on me. In the dream I'm left bald except for a tuft at the front, representing the superego, which makes me appear "self-involved" as X said. In the book the hairdresser was the father, referring to my parents as the original source of the complex with my superego.
In the dream it makes me look ridiculous, so I gladly shave it off, which represents blocking the people on facebook that inflame my superego while draining every other part of me. The thunder refers to revenge against those people, as exemplified in a Minecraft server (Mianite) which uses "gods" as admins, but where one person decided to stay neutral and build a symbol for his own team, involving yin-yang symbols. This refers to someone's recent criticism of infinitarianism as "theology" much as the neutral team Ianite became associated with team Mianite.
The crowds refer to my blog audience, a fulfillment of a wish for support now I've found out how to turn comments on. They cheered me on as if I was entering an arena, but remind me of how my classmates cheered me on half-sarcastically when I entered a football game late. The field turned first into my school's study room and then into a club, symbolizing the many forms the ubiquitous competitiveness of society takes on. I never liked exams or any other form of competition, so I decide to either riot against the school by kidnapping a mathematician, possibly to cheat on the exam, which is an exaggeration of my recent development of a desire to do whatever it takes to take what I want from a society I no longer respect, including lying and extortion.
The caveman refers to the wizard from Fantastic Planet, which could refer to a need to dominate people into enlightenment (in the film they are literally illuminated), or "force people to be free" as Slavoj Zizek describes it in his analysis of the movie "They Live," where someone has a fight with his best friend to force him to wear sunglasses that show ideology for what it is (Pervert's Guide to Ideology). The fact that I am not the caveman at some point and become it at another may mean that I am developing a separate (sub)personality after A's own experiments with doing so.
In the train station I use the dominance of the train transport staff which drove me away from it. In this my subpersonality appears unprincipled about not dominating others and fights fire with fire, turning foe on foe for his own ends.

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